Remember my dream to study abroad for a Master’s degree? If you read other blogs sharing their story about getting their dream after several tries, it gives hope. But what happens when after several tries, you still don’t fulfill the dream you have for yourself?
For the last two years, I’ve applied for scholarships to be able to take a Master’s degree in the field of Instructional Design and Educational Technology:
Walden University Scholarship
University of Nottingham Masters Scholarship
Recently, I got a rejection letter from a scholarship I’ve applied for a Master’s degree. When I read that letter, I cried.
You know, this letter is not the first rejection letter I’ve received. I’ve felt ecstatic upon realizing I got into several universities abroad, but knowing I may not be able to start the Master’s degree without a scholarship to support me felt devastating, especially when you’ve been rejected several times.
This is not only applicable to a dream I have in professional growth, but also in relationships. So many times, I’ve been asking God when He would take away this desire to romantically love and show another person that intimacy God created in me but many times, I feel rejected. Rejected in a sense that I have to wait, because there’s no man yet who can meet the standard He has designed for me. I am not counting it as losing hope, but instead, I consider it as testing — a spiritual refining, so that in the end, when my dream is fulfilled or when I marry the man I’ll love, I know, it will all be worth it.
So for now, how do you deal with rejection you’ve so many times received?
1) Cry. Mourn. Grieve.
It is just normal to get hurt when you are rejected. This is the time to let out your emotion and let your senses feel the need to understand the situation that you will not be able to reach your dream. Is it all to no avail? You’ve done everything to get what you want but why are you rejected? Is it because you are not worthy enough? These are most of the questions that plague us. Can we escape the pain? Can we turn our back to the reality that we are rejected?
The answer is no.
The circumstance will not change when you are rejected. But you can change your attitude on how you respond to that rejection.
Why? Because if you undergo this stage, it will be easier to heal from the hurt you feel. This stage is essential when you let out the seering pain that rejection caused you and then it is on this stage you feel the freedom to choose to respond to rejection in a good way, or bad way.
2) Choose to accept.
Accepting the decision of the other party is easy to say, but hard to do. It will involve strength in facing the next days of your life without realizing your dreams, not regretting your plan to risk it after all. But then, if you choose to accept, it means letting go of everything that would attach you to the other party. It means not looking back and moving on to another direction. Choosing to accept means making that intent never to go back in the past just to regret, but to use it as an inspiration to move forward.
3) Move forward.
It can be very tempting to choose to accept yet stay where you are. But in order to deal with rejection, it is necessary to give it all to the One who gave you those emotions and start walking one step at a time towards another dream you have. Think of it as one door of opportunity that closed, yet, God opens the windows to let in other opportunities to come your way. You may be looking for doors of opportunities, but really, you are meant to open several windows.
It is a matter of perspective. Would you choose to stay where you are and after few months, or years, you’ll realize that nothing really changed? Moving forward is taking those little steps to move ahead from what you experiencing. Move ahead from the pain. Yes, there may still be pain, but eventually, the memory of it will fade as you walk one step at a time.
Do you like doing other things? Focus on those. Think of all the rejection you’ve experienced as a chapter of your life you want to share to your future kids, or to other people who needed inspiration. But different from other stories, it will not give hope to reach for your dreams but instead, it will be a story to show how you endured the pain and how you moved forward.
Every now and then, people are not looking for success stories, but for inspirations they can get hope from. Maybe, you can also share your story of how you deal with rejection. Who knows? Your story might provide a way to change their perspective in life.