Relationship Rules

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”
— Carl W. Buechner

The past few weeks have been very busy in work, and there’s less time for me to write my thoughts here. However, I still made the conscious effort to read after work so here I am, sharing bits and pieces of what I learned about the book I’ve read.

First off, my reason for reading this book is to obviously understand how romantic relationships work. I thought, maybe I need to learn about this aspect of life before I actually try to dive into it. I think I’m ready for a relationship, but after reading this book, I realize there are lots of things to learn! Haha!!! Plus, most of my girl friends are in a relationship so it’s really hard when they’re going through a tough time and I don’t even know what to say to console them. So here I am, admitting I’m very rusty in my idea of dating and romantic relationships so I’ve scouted books about it.

After scanning Amazon, I’ve bought Relationship Rules by Janice Hoffman for just about $5 (kindle version). It is quite a quick read, with about 12 rules about relationships discussed by the author. It is more like a guidebook for both men and women on how each can wiggle through the world of their romantic relationship. This book includes advice on what to do specifically addressed for men, and then women afterwards.

I’ll be sharing the 12 rules mentioned in the book here, and if you’re quite interested to specifically know more, you can also buy the book. I’m not affiliated in any way with the author, but I guess her guidelines about romantic relationships helped me a lot as I’ve used her book to give insights to a friend who recently went through a breakup. While reading the book, it was also easy for me to pick a verse or two from the Bible that might relate to those rules.

So, without further ado, here’s the 12 Relationship Rules outlined by Janice Hoffman in Creating a Love that Lasts:

  1. Help your partner succeed in making you happy. Leave hints, notes, or wish lists. In this way, a woman can get what she wants without asking directly, and a man can feel successful in making his partner happy.
  2. Listen without interrupting. Refrain from giving unsolicited advice or suggestions. Practice putting yourself in your partner’s shoes.
  3. Help your partner relieve stress. Women relieve stress when they can talk freely about their emotions and feel heard and understood. Men relieve stress by disassociating themselves from their thoughts and feelings.
  4. Appreciate your partner for their efforts, big and small. Men are motivated by being appreciated; women are motivated by acts of caring.
  5. Know how men and women keep score in a relationship. Women grant points for the positive things men do, say, and give. Men give women big points for being let off the hook and for being appreciated.
  6. Every day, pledge to give your partner one loving act, one affectionate gesture, one kind word or compliment. Never miss an opportunity to tell your partner how much you care.
  7. Know when to take a time-out. Make sure you schedule time to talk later. Women especially need to know they won’t be forgotten or blown off.
  8. Set aside time to spend together at least once a week. This is your time to reconnect, not to discuss finances, children, or careers.
  9. Be aware of how you spend your sexual energy. How you behave around the opposite sex will have an effect on how you relate to your partner.
  10. Take responsibility for your own happiness. By doing this you will find more peace and joy in your life.
  11. Actively practice forgiveness, both for your partner and for yourself. We all make mistakes. Forgiveness is the foundation of a strong relationship.
  12. When you love someone, tell them. Never assume they already know.

The rules I’ve shared here are exactly the points of Janice Hoffman in her book, but she also added specific advice for men and women on how these guidelines can be applied in real situations. To be honest, these concepts are eye-opening for me and once I’m in a relationship, I’ll be sure to refer to these rules. 😊

How about you? Do you agree with these rules? Do you have experiences that may relate to one or more of these rules? Hit the comment button below if you do! 😁

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Under the Stars

Under the stars, I’m waiting
My soul yearns, it longs for more
I can hear the crickets singing
But the night’s cacophony is
drowning any song

 

Where are you, my dear?
My eyes see the vast plains
My ears hear the wind as it blows
But you, my love is nowhere to be found
When will I know you’re here?
Will we ever meet again,
Or only in my dreams?

 

The mind wanders, the heart flutters
My soul yearns to hear your voice
How long will I wait to show you my affection
Is it ever enough to bide for your love?

 

I passed by the road less traveled
And I’ve stayed to meet you there someday
But it’s not that easy, my love
It’s not easy as it really should be

 

Everyday, I ask myself
Everyday, people ask me why
Why I’ve chosen to be special,
To be different and unique

 

When it is just so easy to blend in
I’ve chosen to stand out and be distinct,
Because in my heart, I know,
Together someday,
we can be distinctly unique.

 

So under the stars, I’m waiting
I’m waiting for you, my darling
I can hear the crickets singing
I can see the darkness fleeting
And even in the night’s cacophony,
I’ll trust the peace within.

New Favorite Songs

I’ve come across the videos of Moriah Peters and boy, I have found a new favorite. Moriah Peters is an American Contemporary Christian singer and her songs are an inspiration. The lyrics to her songs are basically my conviction in life and love so I’m sharing to you some of her songs that I found inspiration:

 

Bloom

This song is an inspiration to me and an encouragement to all women out there who thinks less highly of themselves. Just like the song says, you are born to bloom.

 

Well Done

This video speaks what I want in life and how I want to live this life. This song just reminds me I am not doing things for myself, but for the people to see the love I have received. 🙂

 

I’ll Wait for You

I’ve been waiting all these years for someone whom I will love and who will make me feel loved. I think I’ve met him, but I’m not really sure. Whatever the case, I’m waiting on God for His will to be done because I know, when that time comes, it will all be worth it. That time, I know, God will write my own love story, just like how God has written Moriah’s love story in this next song.

PS: The above video is her own wedding.  🙂

 

Haven’t Even Kissed

These are exactly my thoughts when I was listening to this song! This one song is something I would want to feel and experience someday. I am looking forward to that time when I will meet a man and our relationship will just inspire other people, just like what the lyrics of this song says. 🙂

 

These are my new favorites. How about you? You have new inspirations, too? 🙂

My Love Letter to FL p1

Dear Future Lover (FL),

How are you tonight?

You know, I’ve been waiting for you for a long time. I’ve been to several places in the Philippines and I’ve kept a journal so that someday, when we meet, I’ll be telling you all those stories. You know how I miss you when I travel alone? I’m looking forward to meeting you so whenever I wanna go on travel, I’d have a buddy to accompany me and talk to me for hours. I have been sleeping on the bus whenever there’s long travel, but when I meet you, I look forward to hearing your stories on how you meet new people, travelled around and escape “oh no!” circumstances. But most of all, when we’ll have long travels, I look forward to looking deep in your eyes and sleeping on your shoulder. I’ve been waiting for you for so long that when I meet you, I know I will cherish those little moments.

You know, I received news that one of my friends is currently in the hospital. Tomorrow, we’ll visit her and pray for her healing. When I meet you, I long to see you accompany me to places of friends, hang out with them, laugh with them and pray for them. I long to see you spend time with the ones I love, and getting hooked with your conversations with them. I know you’d be a natural people person and a fun guy to be with.

I look forward to meeting you, for when I meet you, I know we’ll have endless conversation about anything and everything under sun — whether it is about politics, religion, education, organizations and even my pet dog and cats. When I meet you, I know we’ll have quality conversations that will stir the mind, the heart and the soul of our own true selves.

 

When I meet you, I know God answered my prayer for a bestfriend and a lover. I look forward to meeting you even if I do not know you yet, for I know, that time will soon come. I’ve been waiting for you for so long that all these time I’ve been waiting, I know, I’ll be waiting no more.

Love,

Your future lover

I have Questions and God Answered 

Every year, my spiritual family in Victory (globally known as Every Nation) gathers to participate in a week-long prayer and fasting (P&F). It is the time where instead of choosing our desires, we choose God. 

This year’s P&F is special for me. Our topic is “Knowing God” intimately. This is the year I’m also believing God, more than all the answered prayers for the upcoming months, that I’ll be able to hear God’s whisper during my quiet times. 

My most memorable times are the ones I’ve believed and claimed in faith to happen, and indeed, God fulfilled those faith goals. As what Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is being sure of what you hope for and being certain of what you do not see (CEV).”

During this year’s P&F, here are some of my decision questions I’m praying for and indeed, God answered them one by one after only three weeks into 2017. 

1) Career: Will I have another opportunity with another employer or will I stay at my current company? God knows I’m vying for career advancement. 

2) Emotion: For one year, I’ve been attracted to this guy friend that I have, yet he does not know my feelings and I have no idea if these feelings I have for him will be reciprocated. 

3) How can I be effective in sharing Jesus to other people?

4) Love: How will I know the man I’ll marry? I’m already at that marrying age and I’m still waiting. 

These are personal questions I have with Jesus and during my quiet times, he answered it one by one through the book of Ephesians:

1) Career: Stay and be excellent.

Ephesians 2:7 Now God had us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 6:5b-8 Don’t just do what you have to do to get by, but work heartily, as Christ’s servants doing what God wants you to do. And work with a smile on your face, always keeping in mind that no matter who happens to be giving the orders, you’re really serving God (MSG)

2) Emotion: Love him like a brother. Love without expecting something in return.

Ephesians 5:1-2 Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that. (MSG)

3) Sharing the gospel: Though I’m not qualified, God will equip me. 

Ephesians 3:7 This is my life work: helping people understand and respond to this message. It came as a sheer gift to me, a real surprise, God handling all the details. When it came to presenting the Message to people who had no background in God’s way, I was the least qualified of any of the available Christians. God saw to it that I was equipped, but you can be sure that it had nothing to do with my natural abilities (MSG).

4) Love: He will be a husband in qualities to you. That way, you’ll know He’s the one. 

Ephesians 5:22b-28a The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. 

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church – a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives (MSG). 

Indeed, it is just weeks into 2017 and God has already been answering my questions. He has given me peace with the decisions I’ve made and I just know He will never leave me nor forsake me. I know 2017 will be an amazing year for me.