My Love Letter to FL p2

Dear Future Lover, 
How are you tonight?

You know, I’ve been missing you even if I don’t know you yet. But nevertheless, I have been enjoying my life so far. 🤗👊

In the previous years, I have been asking God for contentment and a change of heart for my career. Do not get me wrong. I love what I do but projects and the dream of going abroad to study had consumed me for the past three years that I just look forward for the future, not realizing I have not been living in my present reality. But through God’s grace, He allowed me to stay at my current company even after being rejected for scholarships and not regret after all. 💟

Just these past weeks, I have been in Visayas and Mindanao for work, doing what I love — sharing about new technologies and elearning, training teachers and learning more about my industry. I have traveled from one place to another, and my colleagues are all a joy to work with. Only lately that I realized I have been blessed in my career.

So, when I meet you,  I’ll make sure to tell you all about my work, and what we do to make a difference in the area of education. I’ll be sharing about the places we’ve been to, and the smiles of the students and teachers we’ve trained. I’ll be bringing you pasalubong every time we’ll go out of town, because I know you’ll be ecstatic to receive a gift from me. I know that once we meet, it would be a joy to share to you my travel experiences, and hopefully, someday, I get to travel with you as well.

For now, I’ll document all the ups and downs of my career because I know, you’ll have a glimpse of how I work and enjoy life at the same time. I’m keeping tabs at how I live my life — making sure I enjoy the blessings God has given me so I’ll be contented just as what God says and I’ll be sharing how God has provided enough for me. I know, when that time comes that we’ll be together, we’ll be sharing all about our faith and how God has been so good to us during the waiting season of our lives. 

For now, I’ll just wait for you and enjoy life to fullest. God has given me enough to be thankful, and yet, I know, when I meet you, God has answered my prayer for an overflowing blessing to love and be loved in return.
And so, Future Lover, I’m looking forward to meeting you soon! For the mean time, I hope you enjoy life as well as I am enjoying mine. 😁😆😍🤗

Sincerely, 

Yza 😘

My Quarter-Life Professional Crisis

Last March, I applied for a Fulbright scholarship for Masters In Instructional Design and Educational Technology. However, on the last week of September, I received a letter indicating that I didn’t make it to their final cut.

At first, I was hurt. It was my dream to go abroad and complete my postgraduate degree. I chose Instructional Design and Technology because of the nature of my current work. Now that I am rejected for a post-graduated degree, I feel like I am in a wandering desert in my career. Call it quarter-life professional crisis. Maybe in the future, I can find another road that I can take to pursue my dream of becoming an instructional designer and certified elearning developer.

For now, I will do what I know best:

Be excellent in where God has placed me in work.

Meet deadlines.

Honor God with my work.

Proverbs 12:24

The hand of the diligent will rule, while the slothful will be put to forced labor.

Waiting on God

Let me share a chapter of my love story.

Ten years ago, I was a gal innocently going through the motions of life. I was a high school student, A lister, a nerd (as they say) and just a normal looking person who is wishing for a God-written love story. But the world has its way of teaching us what love is – contrary to what the Bible teaches us in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 (CEV):

Love is patient and kind, never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude.
Love isn’t selfish or quick tempered. It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do. Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil.
Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.
Love never fails!

I remember my teacher in my Christian Value’s class talking about the three (3) types of love: Eros, Phileos and Agape. Eros – emphasizing on physical love, Phileos – characterizing love of a friend and/or family, and Agape – which allows us to see unconditional love (an example would be Jesus ^_^). That time, I just want to experience Agape, never fully knowing what the other two may really mean. As time goes by, I come to experience and see the difference of each.

Maturity

I am just an ordinary girl with no idea about crushes and love. I am consumed with studying, and improving myself as a person. Back then, I hate make up and dressing up. Instead, I find comfort with jeans. It was when I was in third year college that I felt this weird feeling of admiring the opposite sex, feeling giddy just to see him and sometimes getting so tongue-tied when in front of him. Every morning, I would think of him, and every night, I would dream about him. More on the physical type of love, and before I knew it, I had already fallen in love with him.

The danger of this one was that it was rooted in admiration of physical attributes. We became friends, and eventually, became lovers. We were so consumed with each other that we rarely had time to focus on ourselves, and other things important to our life. Eventually, we separated and I was left heartbroken. I was left wondering what went wrong, and if I had chosen wrong.

Heart
seyed mostafa zamani / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)

Time passed by and the search for someone to be with me forever never really left my heart. I focused on other things for the mean time — academics, work, family and friends. They say being single is a gift from God because this is the season where we can give back your talents to our Creator and allow us to enjoy our relationship with Him before our relationship with the one whom He chooses. They are right, because being single allowed me to realize so many things about myself — my likes and dislikes, how I adjust with people and problems, and most especially how I apply what I learned to new things that happen to me. This season is a gift, and I am forever thankful for it.

However, there will still come a time when one would want to enjoy life with someone by their side. I am at that season. But I also know that my God is a big God who knows my needs (and my wants) and I know He will deliver at that right time. It is very hard on my part as I know I am burning with desire to marry, but then, I also know, that if I am not able to enjoy every single moment of my life alone, I also won’t be able to enjoy it with someone else.

Waiting on God is very hard, I can assure you, but it is also a test of faith. A test of patience. A test of trust to the One who will give me that loving person. I am at this time of my life when God prunes a certain part of me because I am impatient and I am a complainer. I am thankful for the web where I can share my thoughts and the thought that I am not alone — that somewhere, someone else feels the same way as I do gives me encouragement. I know I am still a work in progress and this point of my life might be very important for the upcoming season where I’ll enjoy being with God’s choice for me. I don’t know what God thinks, but one thing is for sure – whatever is happening to me right now is what He thinks is the best for me. Maybe, someday, I’ll be spending the rest of my life with my other half, just like this couple below.

cute penguin couple - explored
Adam Foster | Codefor / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

So now, maybe we’re on the same boat and you are waiting on God. You might not be waiting for someone special, but you are waiting for God’s provision, or His answer to a specific prayer. My thoughts on that — still, wait on God. He might be lengthening the time being because He wants us to be patient, to trust Him, to have faith in Him more. Whatever that is, remember you’re not alone. We are on the same boat and just believe (as I do right now) that whatever we are waiting for, He is working on it and working something great on us. Just believe. 🙂

One thing I learned about love in the past ten years is this: Love is patient, love is kind. It isn’t selfish or quick tempered. It is always hopeful, and trusting. Love never fails. Even if my first love failed to make me happy, true love will never fail to encourage and give lasting happiness. That is what I learned in the past ten years — that is, love rooted in the physical attributes of this world will never last, but the love rooted in God will last forever and I am willing to wait on that no matter what I feel right now.

my dream as a girl

         Since I was in high school, I dream of becoming good at computers, specifically on the hardware stuff so that when I will have my own computer or laptop, I will just be the one to operate and fix it.

        When I got older, my dream subsided, for I got BS development communication as my course in UPLB. I still tried to pursue computer science; however, I’m stucked with my course.

        

         Even though I wasn’t able to step ahead of my dream, I enjoyed being what I am right now (being a development communicator). I learned so many things especially on graphics design and the like. I still loved computers, but one of my dreams to travel around the Philippines soared high. I even want to become a documentarist or be a part of a production team that would be inclined in promoting development. Now that I’m nearing graduation, I would like to fulfill those dreams.

       So, my dream of being good with computers is still souring high. But now, I also wanted to have my own computer and coffee shop 10-20 years from now. After I work from the corporate world, I would be entering the enterprise world.

       Well, these dreams are my dreams and nothing can make me drop these just for a trial or two. It may be hard on my part but I wll still do the bast that I can do to fulfill these dreams.