Puso o Isip?

Pusong iniingatan, nasaan ka na?
Bakit nawala ka sa dati mong kinalalagyan
Bakit nga ba tumatalon ka na lamang nang biglaan?

Nandito lang ako, sabi ng puso ko
Nakatingin, nakatitig, nag-aabang
Nararamdaman ko ang nais mong ipaalam
Pero may pagkakataong ang paghihintay
ang isang bagay na dapat ipaglaban.

Maghintay ka!, sabi ng isip ko
Alam mo namang sa pagmamadali, walang
magandang kahihinatnan
Lahat ng bagay, may tamang panahon
Sa bawat panahon, may nararapat kang matutunan at ipangalandakan.

Puso:
Ngunit bakit ganito, hindi ko maipaliwanag aking nadarama
Sa isang banda, nais ko sya’y laging makasama
Sa bawat sandali na nais ko syang makita
Tanging ninanais ay lubos ko syang makilala.

 

Isip:
Minsan, puso, ika’y mapanlinlang
Minsan mo na akong dinaya sa iyong mga nararamdaman
Ngayong may pagkakataong ihayag ko ang aking mga ideya
Di ko na hahayaang masaktan pa sya
Sapagkat, ikaw puso, at sya na ating pagkatao,
ay nais kong maging masaya.

 

Puso:
Isang beses lamang ako nagkamali, isip
Sa dinami dami ng ating pinagdaanan
Hindi mo ba hahayaang ang ating mahal na pagkatao ay tuluyang maging maligaya?

 

Isip:
Sa isang pagkakamali mo, puso
Natutunan kong maging malakas
Natutunan kong unahin muna ang sarili ko
Sa bawat pagkakamali na nagawa mo
Hindi lang ikaw ang nasasaktan, pati ako
Sa bawat pagkakamali mo, lagi mong tatandaan
Ang aking mga natutunan ang syang magbibigay
direksyon sa iyong tatahaking daanan
Puso:
Tama ka, isip, hahayaan kitang mag-isip
Pero hindi mo mapipigilan, aking nadarama kahit isang saglit
Pag-ibig na syang kakaiba
Alam mo namang hinahanap-hanap ko na.

Isip:
Mas makabubuting hindi tayo magtalo
Bagkus, hayaan natin sya sa kanyang mga plano
Kung may balanse sa iyong damdamin at sa aking ideya
Sigurado, pag-ibig na wagas at tunay, kanya nang madarama.

 

Pagkatao:
O puso at isip, hindi ko alam sino ang susundin sa inyo
Isa lamang ang alam ko, naguguluhan ako
Sino ba dapat ang pakinggan, si isip o si puso
Para maramdamang tunay
ang pagmamahal na kay tagal nang hinintay?
Tama! Isa lamang ang alam ko na dapat gawin
Sa Maykapal, siguradong ako’y diringgin
Hahayaan ang puso maramdaman ang sarap ng pag-ibig
Hahayaan ang isip magsabi ng dapat gawin
Ngunit sa lahat ng ito, hahayaang ang Maykapal ang magdikta ng aking damdamin.

Ngayon alam ko na
Hindi na ako magugulumihanan pa
Puso man o isip ang syang paiiralin
Kung ang Maykapal ang may huling salita
Sa aking mahal, ako’y lubusang mamahalin.

To Whom it May Concern by The Civil Wars

I’m dedicating this song to my future hubby. God knows how long I’ve waited and how I missed you, even though I haven’t met you. I will be showing you this blog post when we meet, and by then, you’ll realize I’ve been asking God for you and that I’ve already loved you even before we meet. 🙂

“To Whom It May Concern” by The Civil Wars from Amanda Cafazzo on Vimeo.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
by the Civil Wars

Why are you so far from me?
In my arms is where you are to be
How long will you make me wait?
I don’t know how much more I can take
I missed you but I haven’t met you
Oh but I want to
How I do
Slowly counting down the days
Till I finally know your name
The way your hand feels round my waist
The way you laugh, the way your kisses taste
I missed you but I haven’t met you
Oh but I want to
How I do
How I do
I’ve missed you but I haven’t met you
Oh how I miss you but I haven’t met you
Oh but I want to
Oh how I want to
Dear whoever you might be
I’m still waiting patiently

Waiting on God

Let me share a chapter of my love story.

Ten years ago, I was a gal innocently going through the motions of life. I was a high school student, A lister, a nerd (as they say) and just a normal looking person who is wishing for a God-written love story. But the world has its way of teaching us what love is – contrary to what the Bible teaches us in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 (CEV):

Love is patient and kind, never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude.
Love isn’t selfish or quick tempered. It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do. Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil.
Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.
Love never fails!

I remember my teacher in my Christian Value’s class talking about the three (3) types of love: Eros, Phileos and Agape. Eros – emphasizing on physical love, Phileos – characterizing love of a friend and/or family, and Agape – which allows us to see unconditional love (an example would be Jesus ^_^). That time, I just want to experience Agape, never fully knowing what the other two may really mean. As time goes by, I come to experience and see the difference of each.

Maturity

I am just an ordinary girl with no idea about crushes and love. I am consumed with studying, and improving myself as a person. Back then, I hate make up and dressing up. Instead, I find comfort with jeans. It was when I was in third year college that I felt this weird feeling of admiring the opposite sex, feeling giddy just to see him and sometimes getting so tongue-tied when in front of him. Every morning, I would think of him, and every night, I would dream about him. More on the physical type of love, and before I knew it, I had already fallen in love with him.

The danger of this one was that it was rooted in admiration of physical attributes. We became friends, and eventually, became lovers. We were so consumed with each other that we rarely had time to focus on ourselves, and other things important to our life. Eventually, we separated and I was left heartbroken. I was left wondering what went wrong, and if I had chosen wrong.

Heart
seyed mostafa zamani / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)

Time passed by and the search for someone to be with me forever never really left my heart. I focused on other things for the mean time — academics, work, family and friends. They say being single is a gift from God because this is the season where we can give back your talents to our Creator and allow us to enjoy our relationship with Him before our relationship with the one whom He chooses. They are right, because being single allowed me to realize so many things about myself — my likes and dislikes, how I adjust with people and problems, and most especially how I apply what I learned to new things that happen to me. This season is a gift, and I am forever thankful for it.

However, there will still come a time when one would want to enjoy life with someone by their side. I am at that season. But I also know that my God is a big God who knows my needs (and my wants) and I know He will deliver at that right time. It is very hard on my part as I know I am burning with desire to marry, but then, I also know, that if I am not able to enjoy every single moment of my life alone, I also won’t be able to enjoy it with someone else.

Waiting on God is very hard, I can assure you, but it is also a test of faith. A test of patience. A test of trust to the One who will give me that loving person. I am at this time of my life when God prunes a certain part of me because I am impatient and I am a complainer. I am thankful for the web where I can share my thoughts and the thought that I am not alone — that somewhere, someone else feels the same way as I do gives me encouragement. I know I am still a work in progress and this point of my life might be very important for the upcoming season where I’ll enjoy being with God’s choice for me. I don’t know what God thinks, but one thing is for sure – whatever is happening to me right now is what He thinks is the best for me. Maybe, someday, I’ll be spending the rest of my life with my other half, just like this couple below.

cute penguin couple - explored
Adam Foster | Codefor / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

So now, maybe we’re on the same boat and you are waiting on God. You might not be waiting for someone special, but you are waiting for God’s provision, or His answer to a specific prayer. My thoughts on that — still, wait on God. He might be lengthening the time being because He wants us to be patient, to trust Him, to have faith in Him more. Whatever that is, remember you’re not alone. We are on the same boat and just believe (as I do right now) that whatever we are waiting for, He is working on it and working something great on us. Just believe. 🙂

One thing I learned about love in the past ten years is this: Love is patient, love is kind. It isn’t selfish or quick tempered. It is always hopeful, and trusting. Love never fails. Even if my first love failed to make me happy, true love will never fail to encourage and give lasting happiness. That is what I learned in the past ten years — that is, love rooted in the physical attributes of this world will never last, but the love rooted in God will last forever and I am willing to wait on that no matter what I feel right now.